I told you. All the men in my life die.
I’m not a man in your life, okay? You said so yourself. I’m a little shitpot.

lizziemcganja:

friend: i’m getting mcdonalds you want anything?

me: i don’t have money

friend: it’s all good, i’ll pay

me:

image

image

stumphyllus:

IF YOU ONLY STARTED FUCKING LIKING FALL OUT BOY AFTER SAVE ROCK AND ROLL CAME OUT THEN thats really cool dude I’m really glad you love this band I love, you wanna borrow any of my albums or anything let me know.

starrose17:

No one does friendship quite like the bad guys.

extraordinarymarielle:

jeffreydahmers-cookbook:

Aaron Paul: confused by fashion

the greatest post in internet history

"the fuck is this?? the fuck is that??"

filth-boy:

yes hi hello I have come to share some information. I cannot stress enough the importance of watching gravity falls if you haven’t done so already. please watch gravity falls asap. right now. please. thank you this had been a psa.

uglypnis:

Juno (2007) dir. Jason Reitman
"Bleeker decided he didn’t want to see the baby, neither did I really. He didn’t feel like ours, I think he was always her’s."

uglypnis:

Juno (2007) dir. Jason Reitman

"Bleeker decided he didn’t want to see the baby, neither did I really. He didn’t feel like ours, I think he was always her’s."

mothballmilkshake:

When I’m dating a man I’m no longer bisexual

Just like when I’m at home, I’m no longer employed

Or when I’m not studying I’m no longer a student.

Mmm object impermanency